~ written by Connie Dunmyer
Dana and I have been married nearly 47 years. Within two weeks of getting married, we packed everything we owned, and many things we borrowed, onto our little red truck, and moved some 1200 miles . . . away from both of our families to Colorado Springs so that Dana could attend Bible College. We were truly “on our own”. One day I will talk about the perils of that move, and the perils that will befall anyone whose eyes are fixed on Jesus’ will alone. But today I want to focus on one thing that Colorado Springs has that no other city has – Pikes Peak.
Pikes Peak was a great piece of stability for me. For you see, I was but 18 years old when we moved. We were so far away from either of our families. We did not have skype or facetime back then. There were some months when we barely had a landline phone. We were truly “on our own”. Yet we were never alone.
Psalm 125:2 - As the mountains surround Jerusalem [or the Dunmyers], so the Lord surrounds his people both now and forevermore.
It is an understatement to say that we were poor. Our limited belongings were mostly borrowed. Our funds were almost non-existent. Dana both went to school full-time and worked full-time. Our time together was quite limited and very precious. But on those days (or hours) when we were together, we were almost always on the mountain. We were hiking, picnicking, or simply driving up and down the mountain. Gas was only about 50-cents-per-gallon back then – so it was a pretty cheap date.
While driving along Academy Blvd., I had a physical comfort in seeing that mountain was there. Our South Murray apartment had a picture window that overlooked Pikes Peak. It was a million-dollar-view, for a very small, cheap apartment. There were days when the mountains would be covered in cloud. . . so that no matter how I tried, I could not even tell there was a mountain. But then the clouds would lift, and what was typically left behind was a mountain beautifully dressed in white.
There are times when I cannot see God. There are days I question if He even sees me. I run to the window of my soul to find Him – but all I see are clouds. The dark clouds of life and turmoil seem to hide His precious face, His very presence, from my heart.
Psalm 13:1-2 – How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
What I have come to understand, which admittedly is very limited, is that this is a part of growing our faith-muscles. Much like a newborn will cry if they cannot see their mother – we cry out when we cannot see God – esp. if we are in pain. But also like a baby, we are growing. A baby learns that their mother’s face will appear again. This is faith. And as children of God, we are learning that just because we cannot see God – much less understand what He is doing – He IS there and He IS caring for us.
Psalm 31:15 – My times are in your hands…
No matter what good or ill comes my way – even self-inflicted problems – my days, my times, are in God’s hands. I’ve often found myself thinking that either God didn’t care or He didn’t know what I was going through. I would try to convince Him of this or that. . . “explain to God” what the solution needed to be. But the Lord always knew, always cared, and was always working to redeem me from the situation. God has always eventually led me to the mountain top. He has always eventually dressed my life in beauty, not ashes. I need not fear that this time is any different.
I regret I couldn’t see it then and for how I reacted. Sometimes in anger. Sometimes in depression. Such a waste. I forfeited grace that I could’ve had if I’d trust more and whined less.
Jonah 2:8 – Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.
What’s more worthless than my own will, my own pride, my own whining and selfishness. If I will use my faith-muscles and realize that God is still there, and that my times are in His hands – oh how much more grace can I be living in and enjoying.
Isaiah 54:10 – Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
Oh yes – Pikes Peak was always secure and comforting – but how much more security, comfort, and assurance is here knowing that even if Pikes Peak and every other mountain should truly be removed, the unfailing love of our Abba, our Father, can NEVER, under ANY circumstances, be removed. Now that’s comfort. That’s grace. That’s where I want to live, and the view I want to enjoy.