~ written by Connie Dunmyer
Last week, I made reference to the fact that I don’t much care for the “D” word – discipline. Discipline is rarely, if ever fun. But here’s another word to go along with the “D” word – Honesty. IF we are honest, we all know we need discipline in our lives. And IF we are honest, we all know that we are better for having gone through the discipline.
Hebrews 12:5-6: “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as his son.”
Before we can tackle discipline, we need to tackle real honesty. Not just “telling the truth” – but recognizing the truth in our lives.
As I’ve mentioned in other blogs, I have been going through a metamorphosis of sorts. About 3 years ago I was reading “Trusting God” by Jerry Bridges for the first time (I’m on #3 now). As I began the book, I thought it would be “smooth sailing” because surely I knew all I needed to know about “trusting God”. I mean what Christian doesn’t “trust God”. And then as I was reading and praying one day, I blurted out to God “But I don’t trust You! I am afraid of what You’re doing!”
Have you ever said something to someone and then you like cover your mouth (as though that could put those words back in your face.) Well – that was my moment with God.
“All of us tend to underestimate the remaining sinfulness in our hearts. We fail to see the extent of pride, fleshly self-confidence, selfish ambitions, stubbornness, self-justification, lack of love, and distrust of God that He does see. But adversity brings these sinful dispositions to the surface just as the refiner’s fire brings impurities to the surface of the molten gold.” [Trusting God]
Discipline can be about sin in our lives. We all have it. We may as well be honest about that right now. So discipline is certainly necessary to purge us of it. But discipline can also be about “perfecting” or “making well and healthy”. I liken it to exercise. It’s not so much a punishment (altho I do hate it) – but it’s about perfecting my health.
So when I made that admission to God that I did not trust Him – it wasn’t like I was angry. I wasn’t being belligerent. I was being HONEST. Brutally so. And as soon as I was truly and deeply honest – I was filled with grief. Grief as I realized that this was a “rotten root” in my life I hadn’t recognized – or maybe I had ignored. Grief at how that must have hurt God. And grief as I considered I may have just made the Creator of the universe mad. Would He strike me?
No. Instead – as I wept bitterly and covered my face – God touched me. (I’m pretty sure I felt it physically.) He put His finger under my chin and lifted my head to look at Him, and He just said something like “I know”. And then – I don’t know how to explain what happened next. But I kept seeing, hearing, reading all these things pointing to the extraordinary love of God and how I really CAN trust God. With everything. There was an openness - a connection - an understanding I had been missing. And something else happened that day – I believe it was the Holy Spirit – He actually enabled me to do something I had always claimed, but hadn’t really experienced - - - to really trust God! Absolute trust.
When that happened – everything else started changing:
- When I found pride – I admitted it – and was released from it.
- When I found fleshly self-confidence (surety that I was always “right”) – He forgave me.
- When I found instances of stubbornness – I brought them to Him – and He changed me.
- When I found unforgiveness – God asked me to forgive, and to contact people as I was able to – and I did. And He did.
I found at that moment I could willingly do anything because I truly trusted God. And in fact, whenever something bubbles up in my life – I cannot wait to run to Jesus with it. Like a child with a dandelion. “Look what I found in my life, Jesus! It’s a weed!” And He accepts it as though it were a beautiful rose and then turns my spirit into a whole garden of roses.
My circumstances have not changed. In fact, they’ve gotten considerably worse – (which I didn’t think was possible). But my trust level has grown exponentially. And on those dark days, when I’m feeling sorry for myself (which still happens from time to time) – I bring that to God as quickly as I identify it. And He raises me up – and I believe, actually gives me the trust that I need to make it through that day.
“The author of Hebrews concedes that the divine discipline is painful. It is intended to be. It would not accomplish its purpose if it were not. But God in His infinite wisdom and perfect love will never over-discipline us; He will never allow any adversity in our lives that is not ultimately for our good.” [Trusting God]
My Prayer:
Lord, I pray that You will help everyone reading this today to be truly honest before You. I pray that they will relax in You and know that whatever "discipline" is happening in their lives is OF You and FOR them. Help them to rest in that. To Trust You! Redeem these days. Make us better – more like Jesus. Thank You. Amen.